Joe Hendren

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Monday, December 20, 2004

Maharey as Minister of Teritary Education - A Barnyard Fable

I am surprised that Maharey has lost tertiary education at this time. He well may be remembered as the Minister for Tertiary Education who spent a lot of time dreaming up strategies to weigh the pig, and not enough time feeding it.

When Maharey did provide a few more scraps of feed, they were usually accompanied by quite lot of waffle. Pigs find waffle a bit dry - they prefer a nice juicy carrot or an orange peel.

The previous operator of the pigpen allowed far too many private pigs into the public trough, and Maharey only told the private pigs they could only have as much feed as they did the previous year, when a much higher fence was required in order to prevent many public pigs from starving.

Maharey continued to focus on the pigs that he expected to produce the most bacon at the works, instead of the pigs that promised to produce healthier offspring in the future. The boars in the registry pigpen continued to get the best rations, and gave more and more feed to the two notoriously fat pigs, Saatchi and Saatchi.

Piglets with fat parents continued not to get their own allowance, even if they no longer ate out of the family trough. Maharey increased the weight limits slightly, but cut $25m from piglets that had long left the pen or had found their legal partner in mud. Maharey also refused to feed piglets over Christmas, unlike any other animal in the land, unless they could find some scraps from SJS or charity. This is despite promises he made the piglets before he became master of the pigpen.

It was rumoured that a mean spirited duck was really in charge of allocating feed to the pigs. The pigs recently heard the duck is going to take charge of the pigpen from now on. Birdlike cries of ‘Clark Clark Clark’ across the farmyard make some pigs think there is an even more powerful bird bullying the duck.

After 5 years of trickle down feeding the pigs and piglets are beginning to feel rather sow. Piglets are considering more than a squeal next year – some are considering an occupation of the barnyard to force the duck to listen.

(yes, I am in a slightly silly mood - I need to get some sleep zzzzz)

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At 5:58 pm, Blogger Kane said...

Very witty Joe. I thought it was very funny. I thoroughly enjoyed your analysis.

Look out when the duck is set among the piglets.

At 12:09 am, Blogger Joe Hendren said...

Hehe. Thanks Kane. Glad to see you took it in the spirit in which it was intended :)

Will Lefty Left ever be developed?????

At 11:57 am, Blogger Kane said...

Not anytime soon I'm afraid. At this stage, I'm about as computer literate as the majority of 4 year olds are reading and writing literate :)


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